LCS 2010: New York Day 1

So this week we have a commercial for - let me see if I can get this straight - medication for people who have already had a heart attack. It's supposed to prevent another attack, or reduce circulatory blockage, or something. And it takes half the commercial to list the potential side effects. Last Comic Standing, these are your viewers.

And we start with another musical bit by Craig Robinson. Sigh. If we're going to do music, why not have Loudon Wainwright III as host? Actually, the more I think of it, that's a brilliant idea! Who thought of that?

This week we get some vigorous dancing by Natasha; Greg gets a lot more lines; and Andy is no longer irritating. Folks, I think we have a good panel of judges!

The montages this week are: stereotypical Italian-Americans; and dummies. --No, wiseacres, I am not being redundant.

So who made it to the evening show?

Jamie Lee from Dallas talks about judgmental people: her grandma, and those guys who make rude comments as women walk by (there's got to be a term for them). Good enough for a ticket to the semi-finals, say the judges.

Mike DeStefano paints himself as a tough Italian guy from the streets, and he's pretty funny. The show even does a little clip with DeStefano and three friends sitting at an outdoor café table, à la The Sopranos (which was often the funniest show on television). DeStefano gets his ticket.

Roy Wood, Jr., does a joke in his audition linking current events with his relationship issues: How long will it take to get our troops out of Iraq if it takes him three years to get a crazy girlfriend out of his apartment? Clever. In the evening show he imagines the trouble Facebook and Twitter would have caused in years gone by. I'm not loving his delivery, but the writing is so good that I can't argue with the judges giving him a ticket.

Kurt Metzger auditions with a riff on the sell-your-gold-for-cash commercials. In the evening show he tells a story about Michael Jackson's death being announced at Metzger's own father's funeral. Both bits are very funny. This guy is my favorite so far, and he's going to the semis.

Amanda Melson auditions with a joke about preachers using quotation fingers, or something. I didn't get it; maybe the funny part was edited out. In the evening she talks about a stupid new-agey yoga class - not exactly an original target for humor. Here's what I also don't get: She's identified as being from San Antonio, but in part of her act she does a mock-Puerto Rican accent. Is she pandering to the New York audience, or is San Antonio more cosmopolitan than I realized? At any rate, she gets a ticket.

Jim David auditions with some jokes about the gay "lifestyle" (presumably he's gay). In the evening show he takes on automated airline reservation systems. The bit is sort of funny, but not good enough to get him to the semis.

Tommy Johnagin tells jokes about bad relationships and gets a ticket. OK, I guess.

Alycia Cooper talks about the bad economy, the bad sports teams in DC, and the things she does to avoid airline bag fees. Another ticket to semi-finals, and another comic I don't feel like rooting for or against.

Flavia Masson auditions with a joke about a Brazilian bikini wax producing something that looks like Hitler's mustache. I'm not laughing, but that's enough for the judges to invite her to the evening show, where she talks about how dramatic and stupid her housemaid is. The judges correct their mistake and don't invite her to the semis.

Jesse Joyce jokes about being a Big Brother and about what traumatizing roadkill monkeys make. I'd have passed him up, but he gets the red ticket.

Claudia Cogan auditions with her fantasy of being a nasty stripper with a coke nosebleed, and her evening bit is about inappropriate LOL's in instant messages. Not brilliant, but I like her; she's an ambitious comic. She gets a ticket.

In the audition Jared Logan hates people who bum cigarettes from him, and that disdain gets him to the evening show. There, he talks about how his fellow subway passengers find his "pardon me" off-putting; they seem to think he's kind of a douche. I'm not sure, but they may be right. No ticket for him. He should get together with Flavia. The lower classes can't hurt them as long as they have each other.

So nine people move on. More New York next week!